Thank you so much for the encouraging emails. Your ideas have helped quite a bit, although probably not in the way you expected. While nothing is final yet, I do not think I will be mailing in that envelope. My friend Nancy wondered about all of the pressure surrounding the upcoming conference. What was the point? That question made me stop and think. What is the point?
When I began writing this book, I explained to the members of my writing group that I did not know if publication was something I was after. I happily wrote a couple of chapters. They loved it, told me what a great book it was going to be and how publishable it was. If felt great to know my idea was a good one, and that my efforts were worthwhile. I continued to happily write chapter after chapter, learning so much in the process. The group continued to offer amazing support. When I told people I was having a great time writing the book, I was telling the truth.
Then the PNWA conference dates were set. I have a writer friend telling me what a great experience it will be for me. How important it is. How I will be able to meet agents and network...So I became caught up in the whole publishing end of the project. It seemed the logical next step. But it is not.
The logical next step is to continue on the path I am on. Enjoy the writing process. Be happy with progress, even small amounts count. I do not need to sell this book to pay the electric bill. I hope I will sell it one day, but pushing it is not the answer. Putting words together, in the right order, takes time and patience. Trying too hard always reads like the writer is trying too hard. I am not ready to pitch to an agent or hobnob with the best seller crowd. Talk about making a bad first impression.
So right now, tonight, I am breathing a sigh of relief. I will continue to write this book, and when I am done I will write another one, and another one after that. When the time is right to send them out into the world, I will know it. The difference between being a writer and a Writer is not a conference, it comes from within. My within is feeling pretty good right now.